I cry at night
No one is in sight
And we got so much to share
Talking's fine
If you got the time
But I ain't got the time to spare

I've had it up to the ceiling
Fake friends is what we don't need
Only thing they're good for is cheating and leaving 
I'll say it to your face, fuck fake friends

I am under alot of stress lately, Must come with the lifestyle
We all got demons, I'm dealin' with monsters
I've taken every picture with you by my side
You still do me like this after everything we have been through
But its ok I know I'm blessed to be here

I had your back
You turned yours on me
I was so blind, now
It’s easy to see
I think we’re slipping
Ice is real thin
Where the hell have you been?

I don’t need a fake friend
Keep your distance
Losing you’s a win-win
Always gotta pretend
I don’t need a fake friends

You don't lose when you lose fake friends
You go and tell 'em you were king of the hill
When you need a hand, that was yesterday
You see 'em laugh while you're on your knees
And it breaks your heart 'cause you gave so much
And you can't believe that you hit the ground
And you notice you've been losin' friends

I cry at night
No one is in sight
And we got so much to share
Talking's fine
If you got the time
But I ain't got the time to spare


Some people might think I'm targetting them, but if you feel that way, I'm sorry, but it's not about you.

I have been dealing with this pain going on for almost a week now.

Fake Friends

I keep hitting this wall
It's never gonna fall
And we're still broken
This mountain we've been trying to climb
It's never-ending
Just can't do anything, got to do something
Cause if we don't open up our eyes
We're just pretending

Well there's a time for giving up
Didn't wanna have to say it
All we're doing is building walls
And now there are too many barriers

Too many locks, too many cries
Too many tears, too many lies
Too many barriers inside this universe.

Here we are, lying' here.
It's our last final goodnight.
Just because it feels so good
Not use pretending we're alright.

There are too many barriers to breakthrough
I have been trying', but we just can't break through.
I know I'm gonna keep wishing' I was with you
But we just got to stop...

Here we are, lyin' here.
It's our last final goodnight.
Just because it feels so good
No use pretending we're alright.
Too many locks, too many cries
Too many tears, too many lies
Too many lies.
In a hurry to get somewhere
And the road's tryin' to block ya, block ya
And you feel like you're nowhere
'Cause the world's tryin' to stop ya, stop ya
In a hurry to get somewhere
And the road's tryin' to block ya, block ya
And you feel like you're nowhere
'Cause the world's tryin' to stop ya, stop ya with all these barriers.

This song is about something I do to protect others and myself a lot. I don't mean to do this but I do.

Barriers

I throw it all away just for one more day 
If I could just see you one more time I would drink the darkness away until it unfolds
I just want to make you proud
I just want everything to be ok

If I could just turn back time to fix everything
I have been falling hard into a dark abyss
My heart is still there for you
But I cant be there for you no more 
I think its time to end it all

I'm sorry mama I cant stand the pain anymore
I was a fighter 
I tried to keep my head up 
But I just want to see you just one more time 
These empty thoughts feels great

No worries, no regret
That's what I kept saying when I put the pistol in my mouth
I couldn't hold back no more
I was one more step away from freedom
I slowly pulled the trigger hoping to end it all 

Nothing happened, the gun was smoking
I don't know if I'm dead
I did all of this just for you
I did this to free my pain 
I just want to see you one more time 

I am finally free from all the pain and regret
I can finally fly free in the clouds
No more pain
no more regret
I can finally see you
Just one more time

This song was about a rough patch in my life, I did get help so don't worry.

Remember there is always someone there for you through your darkest days and nights
You just have to let them in on it.

Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255


One More Time

I started from the bottom and slowly rising 
I'm fighting for the number one spot
Who wants a go-ahead?
We are going to move mountains 
We will keep rising up to the moon

I'm gonna rise like the day
I'm not going to be afraid 
I will not back down 
I want to be as high as the waves in the sea
Spite the ache's and pain I won't stop

I am going to rise up 
I will do it a thousand more times 
When the silence is too much
The pain is too hard to move
I will keep climbing to the top 
Nothing is going to stop me from reaching my dreams

I don't care if I'm broke
I don't care if I'm rich
I will keep rising to the top
Spite all the ache's and pain I won't stop
When the silence isn't quiet 
It makes it hard to breath

(I know you feel like your dying)
(I promise we will take the world to its feet)
We are going to move mountains
Bring the world to its feet
Make them get on their knees and pray
We are taking on the world by storm
We will do it a thousand times more 
Because we will rise up!

This song is about my struggle from the gutter to where I am currently at. 🙏

Everyone struggles sometimes in life and you got to keep your mind in the right place and rise up to the stars 🌟

Rise Up

Oh no I'm in my thoughts again, someone go grab my gun just let me end it all
(No I can't let you) why? you won't miss me, No one will
My thoughts are my greatest weakness
You just don't understand my struggle
I think about you all the time inside this jungle

Because my thoughts are about you 
You just don't see it, do you?
No, you rather like someone else
You rather spend time with everyone else
I just want it to be us,

I just want our love to be true 
My wild thoughts are controlling me
I love everything about you
Your smile, your laugh, your personality 

I spent sleepless nights thinking about you 
Did you? NO, you rather spend your time with someone else
These thoughts are going to get me killed
I just want you to know that you hurt me
I know I haven't been the greatest friend but I still have feelings

Now these thoughts made me realize
there's no more holding back
You know that I love you and care for you
But its time for me to let you go 
I can't keep these thoughts anymore 
I have to let them free
Because these thoughts will kill me...




This song expresses the current thoughts and feelings I have towards someone or multiple people. 😔

We all got to keep our heads up guys and girls, We will make it through anything! ✊👆


My Thoughts

There's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time.
And I'm running out of things to do to get you off my mind.
All I have is this picture in my phone,
That I keep to remind me of the memories we made together.

Why do we have to keep it a secret
Baby I only want you but I can see there is something wrong with you
I haven't been around much, I know
What is stopping us from loving each other?

I wish that you was here with me,
But we're stuck where we are
It's so hard, you're so far.
This long distance is killing me.

Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days. 
All I have is this picture in my phone,
That I keep to remind me of the memories we made together.
This long distance is killing me.

The pieces of my heart are missin’ you
When you’re gone
The face I came to know is missin’, too
When you’re gone

I’ve never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
The memories we made is stuck inside my head
It's so hard, where we are, you're so far.
This long distance is killing me.

Long-distance is about a special someone that I hold very dear to my heart that I love.🥰

I wish I could change things to be with that person but I can't in my current state. 😞

Long Distance

Every time I wake up I'm thinking about you
The feelings I have is so strong that I think I am falling
I don't know what to do with all of this
This Love is so powerful it makes me cry

I'm slowly falling for your love(x2)
The tears in my eyes are good
This love I have is true
This trust is real
I can't keep you off my mind because...

I am slowly falling for your love(x2)
I can't imagine a day without
The love and heartbreak I have been through is bad
This can really be something real

I just want you to know that I am slowly falling for you
I will do anything for you
Because when I am with you,
I'm slowly falling for your love(x2)

The tears in my eyes are good
This love I have is true
This trust is real
I can't keep you off my mind 
I want you to be my forever girl

We can just slowly fall together 
Our love is connected together
what we have is real
You can slowly see me fallin'
in the Sunshine, rainfall, any weather
'Cause I love your smile, your eyes, and your mind, lay down with me
'Cause I could just make love to you all night

Slowly falling was a song I wrote when I was in my feelings for a special someone, 🥰

I won't disclose names but let's just say that I truly care for this person a lot. 🌠


Slowly Falling

I wake up everyday wondering what is going on
I never know whats going to happen each day
My mental state cant handle all of this
I feel like I'm going into a hole that no-one knows about

I got PTSD in my life to keep me sain
The shit I've been through no one cant imagine
There's days I just dont want to be here

I got a war zone inside of my head
I've seen my brothers fall, over and over again
Don't stand too close to me, I got PTSD
Always hearing voices yelling out my name
I go off my mind and my instinct
The shit I have seen daily isn't imaginable

I can't sleep 'cause it's a war zone in my head
I would give up anything to have a normal life again I don't know how much longer I can deal with this
The demons in my head fighting back and fourth
All I can hear are the cries of the people I have lost
I don't belong here, I see my past everywhere
Don't stand too close to me, I got PTSD

The days seem long as life gets shorter
I'm affected by badly, no appetite, I can't eat
I don't know if I can keep this up
Life is so short and mine is fucked
But you know I can only fight it off

No one can help me
They don't know what I'm going through
But I got PTSD in my life to keep me sain...

PTSD is a song that explains my struggle with PTSD.

I have a constant battle in my head that I hide from everyone, It's really hard sometimes to keep a smile on my face.☠

PTSD

Every time I smile while I'm doin' fine, does it show?
'Cause I'm really freaking out, too scared of letting you go
Then my heart drowns out my thoughts, my head's about to explode
What I need is some closure

I, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I get anxiety
When you're not here with me, I get anxiety
I can't eat, I can't sleep, don't know why you can't see
You give me anxiety when your not here with me, 
The things that go through my mind is crazy
You couldnt last in my shoes long enough to understand my struggles

Life isnt the best for me sometimes but you make me wanna be here,
You are stronger than my anxiety and you been with me so long its like you are apart of me, 
My mind is calm when I am around you, 
You keep me calm and collective

Every time I smile while I'm doin' fine, does it show?
'Cause I'm really freaking out, too scared of letting you go
Then my heart drowns out my thoughts, my head's about to explode
What I need is some closure

I, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I get anxiety
When you're not here with me, I get anxiety
I can't eat, I can't sleep, don't know why you can't see
You give me anxiety when your not here with me, 
The things that go through my mind is crazy
You couldnt last in my shoes long enough to understand my struggles

Every time I smile while I'm doin' fine, does it show?
'Cause I'm really freaking out, too scared of letting you go
Then my heart drowns out my thoughts, my head's about to explode
What I need is some closure

Life isnt the best for me sometimes but you make me wanna be here,
You are stronger than my anxiety and you been with me so long its like you are apart of me, 
My mind is calm when I am around you, 
You keep me calm and collective

This is my anxiety *Fade*

This song is about my struggle with severe anxiety, There are points to where I shake badly and have been in the hospital multiple times this year. 🕊

I wish I wouldn't have it but I do. 😫

Anxiety

It's not good enough for me, since I been with you
It's not gonna work for you, nobody can equal me
I'm gonna catch the rhythm while she push up against me
I seen you from across the room
Pretty little body, 
But you are unforgettable

I need to get you alone
We can have a good time, 
A fucking good time, never hurt nobody
I got to give it to her like we are married
Oh, like we in a hurry
No, no I won't tell nobody
You're on your level too
Tryna do what lovers do

You are unforgettable
I wanna get you alone
Now you wanna chose

It's not good enough for me, since I been with you
It's not gonna work for you, nobody can equal me
I'm gonna catch the rhythm while she push up against me
I seen you from across the room
Pretty little body, 
But you are unforgettable

I need to get you alone
We can have a good time, 
A fucking good time, never hurt nobody
I got to give it to her like we are married
Oh, like we in a hurry
No, no I won't tell nobody
You're on your level too
Tryna do what lovers do

Lovers is what we are, 
we can make magic happen but you gotta be down with the flow
Lets get freaky in the sheets,
I wanna see you grip the sheets and bury your face in the bed,

It's not good enough for me, since I been with you
It's not gonna work for you, nobody can equal me
I'm gonna catch the rhythm while she push up against me
I seen you from across the room
Pretty little body, 
But you are unforgettable!


Unforgettable Love is about someone I used to love since high school we were soulmates and were meant to be but God had other plans and took her away from me, Miss you lucy I will always love you, my Queen 👸💕💘.

Unforgettable Love

Baby, I'm addicted to you, I'm out of control
But you're the drug that keeps me from dying
Baby, I'm a liar, but all I really know
Are you're the only reason I'm trying
I'm so addicted to you
all the things you do
Oh girl let's take it slow
So as for you well you know where to go
I want to take my love
And hate you till the end
 
I'm wasted away
I made a million mistakes
Am I too late?
there's a storm in my head
And it rains on my bed
When you're not here, oh
I'm not afraid of dying
But I am afraid of losing you
  
Baby, I'm addicted to you, I'm out of control
But you're the drug that keeps me from dying
Baby, I'm a liar, but all I really know
Are you're the only reason why I'm trying
there is a storm inside my head that keeps me from leaving, 
I put up many walls to keep the heart break away,
I can't get over you,
The love I have for you is impenetrable, 
I'm so addicted to you
all the things you do
Oh girl let's take it slow
So as for you well you know where to go
I want to take my love
And hate you till the end

I'm wasted away
I made a million mistakes
Am I too late?
there's a storm in my head
And it rains on my bed
When you're not here, oh
I'm not afraid of dying
But I am afraid of losing you
With every breath you take
The love I have for you never dies
I'm so addicted to you!.

This song was about someone I truly loved once but she was taken away from me. 

R.I.P Lucy June 14th 2015 🙏🕊

I can't believe it's been 6 years.

I love you 💕

Addicted

These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle scars,
Arrow holes, they never close from Cupid on a shooting spree
Feeling stupid cause I know it ain't no you and me.

I'm a lover not a fighter on the front line with a poem,
Trying to write yourself a rifle, maybe sharpen up a stone
To fight the tanks and drones of you being alone
I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched
I wish that I could stop loving you so much

These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle scars,

I only loved you and no one else but you used me, you burned me, you cut me deep with a knife, and left a scar.

This hurt won't go away as hard as I try, I can only scream inside my mind and keep my demons away,
This hurt is too strong to keep locked up, I just want to give up and not care anymore. This scar is here forever and I can't hide it.

The only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses,
The Shields, The body armors and vests don't properly work
That's why you're in a locker full of hurt
The enemy within and all the fires from your friends
The best medicine's to probably just let her win,
I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love,
I wish I could stop caring but I can't, I can't imagine her being hurt.

I wouldn't know what to do if I would do that to her even after what she did to me. But These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
Cause you set me on fire
I've never felt so alive, yeah
No, hoping wounds heal, but it never does
That's because you're at war with love
And I'm at the point of breaking
And it's impossible to shake it.

See, you hoped the wound heals, but it never does
That's 'cause you're at war with love
Hope it heals, but it never does
That's 'cause you're at war with love!


I wrote this song to express the mental scars I have. A lot of people think I have physical scars but I don't I have mental scars.
I have seen things and been through things that some people cant bear. I know that sounds selfless and I know there are other people that are dealing with a lot worse but these are my battle scars. 🤐

Battle Scars

Baby, you are amazing in every way, 
Your eyes glistening in the moonlight just turns me on.
I love the way your body feels between our skin,
This is what makes you amazing,
This is what makes you a friend,

The love I have for you can't be explained, We have a connection that can't be broken.
We have so many memories built up in just a short amount of time, it feels like we just met yesterday and we already built a bond that can't be broken.
The truth will arise very soon that the feelings we have are true and meant to be.

Baby, you move my spirit
You make me happy when I see you and I like it,
You got me swollen in and out, you can feel it
I make you hit that, high like a rocket
I'm gonna make that time for you, baby
I wanna taste it,
'Cause when we hit that high really, baby
We gotta let it fly.

You have been there when I was down, you were always able to make me smile, I get butterflies in my stomach when I talk to you, I don't know why but I really enjoy it,

We are meant to be together but I don't how to tell you, That the love I have for you is very true.


True love is about someone I miss really bad., She was taken away from me back in June 14th, 2015. 

We were soulmates and this song is dedicated to her.

I miss you and love you lucy 🥰😍😘

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